Trailer Park Karma

Is Your Homemade Sauce Worth $1 Million?

[Okay, excuse the marketing tone of this piece by the makers of Dave's Gourmet -- but I couldn't help but want to turn y'all on to this chance. If they like your sauce, salsa, or dip, they'll make it, put your name on it, give you a $2k advance and pay you royalties, up to $1 million. What could you possibly lose?? Think I should submit my White Girl Hot Pico De Gallo?]

Have you ever tasted a pasta sauce from the supermarket and thought, “I can do better then that” or do you make a fantastic sauce, salsa, dip, etc.?  That is what Dave Hirschkop of Dave’s Gourmet thought, which is part of what motivated him to start his company that manufactures and markets award-winning sauces to millions of Americans every year.

The thing is, he’s pretty sure he’s not the only one in America who has a great sauce. That’s why Dave is putting his money where your kitchen is by creating a national contest to determine where America’s next great sauce, salsa or dip will come from.

“I know that somewhere someone is home making their own sauce because they know it’s better than anything they can get at the supermarket,” said Dave, whose sauces have won best in the industry awards two years running. “Well, I want that sauce. I want to manufacture it and bring it to people around the world. The only problem I’ve had in that equation was how to find it.”

Enter Dave’s brainchild: the Dave’s Gourmet Recipe Challenge, which carries a grand prize of up to $1,000,000 in sales royalties.

Here’s how it works:

Send Dave your recipe at www.davesgourmet.com by December 31, 2011.

Entrants have to warrant that they own that recipe and that they did not swipe it from their sister-in-law when she wasn’t looking.

From January 1-4, 2012, Dave’s team will test the recipes and choose a bank of semifinalists.
Sauces will be judged in five categories – taste, appearance, creativity, consumer appeal and the recipe’s ability to be mass-produced. In other words, if Dave has to hand-cut bay leaves from trees found only in the southernmost tip of Italy in order to make your sauce, it might be too difficult for him to mass-produce.

Those semifinalist sauces will be taste-tested by a panel from Dave’s Gourmet and finalist sauces will be chosen and their owners notified between January 12-14. On January 15 to 17, hundreds of food professionals attending the Fancy Foods Show in San Francisco will taste the finalists’ entries and will vote for their favorite.

On January 18, the winner or winners will be announced and notified.Within two weeks of being notified, winners must sign some paperwork and collect their advance of $2000.

The sauce will be produced for Dave’s Gourmet’s retailers and might have the winner’s name right on the label. The winner will receive royalties for 6 years, up to $1 million.

Dave said, “Now, I wasn’t anyone special when I started my restaurant and then moved into manufacturing sauces. I’m just like everyone else and that’s why I know that somewhere out there, someone just like me is standing in their kitchen stirring a sauce that could very well be the best one in America. So, I’m going to find out where it is.”

About Dave Hirschkop 
Dave Hirschkop is married with three children, and graduated from Boston University back in the 80s. Shortly thereafter, he opened a mom and pop restaurant called Burrito Madness. It was there he first started experimenting with hot sauces, later moving into pasta sauces. He started Dave’s Gourmet 18 years ago, and now has products in major retailers like Safeway, Williams-Sonoma, Whole Foods and Costco.

Kickin' Back: 9 Supermarket Strategies Designed to Make You Spend More

[Editor's Note: In our never-ending endeavor to keep food on the table and a roof overhead, all the while keeping you amused, we're gonna let a few others yammer on here at The Park now and then. You get something to read, they get a little light shined on 'em, and we get to recline in the trailer just a few minutes more (in between those piled up payin' gigs.) And we'll only feature stuff we think is good for you.]


Most of the advice in the article below is pretty basic. I'm almost embarassed to put it up here, figurin' most of y'all to be way savvy at saving money by now. But please don't take offense -- I never cease being amazed on occasion at what some of my friends still don't know about grocery shopping.

9 Supermarket Strategies Designed to
Make You Spend More

by Andrea Woroch,
a nationally recognized consumer and money-saving expert for Kinoli Inc. 

Supermarkets lure us in with coupons and sales, but once we're inside...POW!...they hit us with the old one-two for a checkout aisle KO. Ultimately, it pays to keep your mental dukes up when you're in the ring, but first you have to know the rules. Here are nine tricks supermarkets like to spring on consumers to encourage overspending, along with ways you can overcome them.

1. Something smells really good. The bombardment starts as soon as the front door swings open. Those mouth-watering smells emanate from the nearby bakery or deli, enticing you to buy the more expensive prepared foods. A grocer in New York City even pipes artificial smells into it's facility to induce shoppers to buy more.The rule, as you've often heard, is to never shop on an empty stomach.

2. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Ever notice how the things you need most frequently are the furthest away from the door? That's intentional; supermarkets guide you through aisles of the most attractive foods, hoping you'll give in to impulse buys.If you only need one item, it's actually cheaper in the long run to shop at a small market where you'll be less tempted to buy unneeded items.

3. End caps aren't your friend. End caps are the shelving units at the end of each aisle, where supermarkets place "sale" items that aren't always that cheap. They're counting on our preference to avoid heading down an aisle, so we'll just grab an end-cap item that seems reasonably priced.Don't give in; wait until you can comparison shop midst the appropriate aisle. Better yet, find grocery coupons on your smartphone from sites like CouponSherpa.com, and see if the product on your list is available at a discount.

4. Bend and stretch your way to better prices. Manufacturers pay big bucks for prime real estate, usually at adult eye level or, in the case of products marketed specifically to children, on the lower shelves. These corporations shell out extra cash because they know we're more likely to buy something we can see easily. Before you grab the first item you see, take a moment to scan the entire shelf and make sure you're truly getting a good deal.

5. Losing with loss leaders.There's a reason supermarkets advertise such cheap prices on milk, bread and other basics. These under-priced items are known as loss leaders because the supermarket is willing to take a loss to bait you into the store, where they'll make up the difference with more purchases.There's no reason you shouldn't take advantage of loss leaders; just don't let it rule which store you shop and what you buy.

6. BOGO can be a no-go. Deals that offer "seven for $5.50" are designed to confuse shoppers who aren't quick with the mental calculator. The same trick applies to the now popular 10 for $10 game making the supermarket rounds. Bulk buying can be cost effective, but there are a number of variables to consider. You can fool grocery stores at their own game by checking the unit price for competing products and selecting the one that truly offers the best deal.

7. Expensive eye candy. Product packaging is usually mind-bogglingly bright, featuring plenty of yellows and reds because these colors attract our eyes. Between this visual whirl and the bright store lights, grocery shopping can lead to migraines. Buying generic brands is one of many ways to combat escalating food prices. Before grabbing the first item that attracts your eyes, look for less-gaudy house brands and compare unit prices.

8. Super sized can equal undervalue. Bigger isn't always better, particularly when a manufacturer increases package size while hitting the contents with a shrink ray. This practice has become particularly popular in recent years since you're not really expected to check whether a box or can is full.Give it a shake or visually compare product contents.

9. The checkout stand is a supermarket's last chance.The checkout aisle is akin to its own mini mart, featuring all kinds of impulse buys. Supermarkets know we're a captive audience, so they squeeze in everything and anything that might grab your attention and add to the final bill. Distract yourself by reviewing your grocery list, a tangible reminder that everything you need is already in your cart.

 

When It Rains, The Other Shoe Falls

When people ask about my job, and I foolishly reveal that "I'm a writer," I've learned to respond to follow-up questions with "It's not romantic."

That doesn't describe the half of it.

Being a freelance writer for a living is (for most of us) choosing to make "feast or famine" a regular, ongoing part of your existence. When there's work, you better take it, even if you think your plate's already full, because you can't predict when you’ll get your next job. And when there's not enough work... well, there's this little town called London in west central Texas you can move to...

If you've been following along, you know that I left my rocky savannah idyll and came back to Swamp City to catch a gravy train. The things we'll do to feed and clothe ourselves and our dependents, huh? And now, a week shy of my second month in the city, I'm already back to treading water as fast as I can, doing what I gotta do. When hunger's a part of your history -- and you wanna keep it neatly tucked right back there -- you'll bite off as much as you can chew when the bone is dangled. And if you bite off more than that, be prepared to choke a little or spit it out.

If there's one thing I know for sure (and there ain't much, so take what I got), it's that the other shoe WILL drop. It's not a question of if but when. The trick is seeing those harsh possibilities clearly and with a sense of wonder and amusement, not resignation or foreboding.

It's a hell of a trick.

All I have to do is think about the super-sized task pile on my plate, due in the next eight weeks, and my blood pressure goes up. So what do I do? I heap on a little more. The pile's now topped by a couple of books about being more like Buddha. Really.

One's called "Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time" by Rick Hanson, and the other is "Shortcuts to Inner Peace: 70 Simple Paths to Everyday Serenity" by Ashley Davis Bush. Neither is out yet -- they're both being published after my task pile should be cleared. My plan: Use whatever these galleys got in 'em in hopes of keepin’ my craw clear enough to get down what I bit off. And be found sane when it's all said and done. So you might not see the reviews until later. Much later. Like, holiday shopping time, maybe.

It's a damned good thing I found this at the store last night:

 

 

ADHD Weekly Med(itation)s: 5-8-11 (The Times Aren't A-Changin'. It's The Whole World Around You.)

Just noticed that the lower my kitchen supplies dwindle, the more recipes I churn out. Hm. Huh. I really do much better under pressure.

I'm clear on this: Living in The Sticks has afforded me many opportunities to observe both emotional and physical discomfort. Part of my practice I can *never* get enough of...

Finally. Enough surplus cash to buy nail polish remover = my toes look normal again. Good thing. That was a lotta fun, but if Nature intended me to have Rose Gold toenails, there'd be a litte pedicurist living at the foot of my bed, waiting eagerly for each evening so she could pamper and paint my pretty little piggies. And Nature ain't that kinda girl.

Ahhh, Small Town Bank. Your Head Teller shouting "Will that be two 20's and a 10, Tracy?" obviously hasn't read all of the many postings about identity theft and personal security at the other end of the lobby. Even though her voice projects all the way over there.

And there goes the freakin' neighborhood...

What You Do With Canned Rutabagas: Butter Beans & Canned Veggies Soup

What? Like you don't have a can of rutabagas in your pantry?! I've had mine for, I dunno, nearly a year. That's how long it's been since The Editor came and spent any decent length of time here in The Sticks, and he bestowed the can on me after finding it in a grab-bag he bought at the local grocer. (I'm lying. He's been here since then, but it was during that extra-special long trip that the grab-bag buy went down. I just have to get my digs in sometimes.) The brown paper bag held the can of rutabagas and another of boiled peanuts (still unused), some shampoo, a jar of creamed lamb baby food, and one of those air fresheners you hang from the car's rearview mirror.  

I've never eaten rutabagas, as I recall. 

Comes that time in life when the pickin's are damned slim. No problem with clutter in this kitchen pantry or fridge, no way! But what's left in there can be kinda odd. Pretty close to trying to find a way to dilute and drink condensed milk. Also, forgive me if I'm whining about this again, but I have yet to replenish my house's propane tank, so I'm doing as much cooking as I can with electricity, which means toaster oven and crockpot. But before I go baking the canned milk -- I have several bags of dry beans. Perfect for one-dish meals in the crockpot that will last a few days (which is just fine if you live by yourself and hardly ever go out in public). And my all-time favorite legumes are what we call "butter beans", which for the uninitiated are just large limas. And they're not cooked with butter, at least not in my world. 

Now I never follow a recipe for butter beans, and I make two versions: vegetarian and not. The difference is in the herbs used and that one has meat. Since this is waist-cinching time, it shouldn't surprise you that I made the veggie style this time. Only THIS time, I dolled it up. After all, woman does not live on beans alone.

In the final tasting, I think this would be several times better with bacon. But that's not what I had, so this is what I made:

Butter Bean and Canned Veggies Soup

about a pound of large dry lima beans

enough water to cover

1 tbsp rosemary, crushed

1 tbsp dried thyme

1 tsp caraway seeds

a handful of chives snipped from the garden

1 tbsp balsamic vinegar 

2 cans of whatever vegetables you got 

salt and pepper to taste

Do what you will with your dry beans. If you don't already know how to do 'em, it involves a long soak in lots of water. Read the package. Or if they're not in a printed package, do this -- you have two options: fast soak or overnight. Overnight is, well, overnight, but really you can do it during the day, too, if you have about eight hours to spare. I'm pretty sure there's nothing special about the night time that softens 'em better. I almost always do the fast soak, which goes like this: Put at least twice the amount of water over your beans in a pot with a lid. Bring it to boil and turn it off, then let it rest, without taking the lid off, for about 90 minutes.

So once you've done your soaking, put the beans in a crockpot. For a pound of beans I use about two quarts of water. Add all of the herbs and the chives, cover and cook on high for four hours. 

After four hours, add your chives and balsamic vinegar. Cook for 90 minutes more. Then add your vegetables -- I had half a can of green beans left over from the night before, and the whole can of rutabagas. Dumped 'em all in there, including the water they were canned in, for added nutrition. And salt.

It was pretty tasty, especially served with bread and butter and a couple of boiled eggs on the side. Like I said, a little bacon would've made it perfect. But I'll have to catch that pork after my next paycheck.

Pancake Day: Not Just Another Pretty Hallmark Holiday

You've probably been hit with the deluge of press trumpeting the oncoming festivities for National Pancake Day.

No?
Maybe it's just me.

Anyway, there was a time when I made pancakes pretty regularly. From scratch. They rocked. But now, it's just me and Dawg and Cat... But just because I'm not all that into making flapjacks (really? who uses that term?) any more doesn't mean I don't recognize the magnificence of this beloved holiday.

Besides -- you can get 'em for free.
On March 1, IHOP is serving anyone who suffers through what's bound to be a long wait a free short stack of buttermilk pancakes. In exchange, those lucky dogs who get to wolf down the stacks will be asked to make a donation to assigned local charities.

And just in case you think IHOP invented National Pancake Day, au contraire.

According to their press office, it's a tradition going back centuries to when folks in Britain got ready for Lenten fasting, when no dairy was allowed. Pancakes were how they used up the eggs, milk, and butter on Shrove Tuesday -- aka Pancake Tuesday. Most of my Swamp City friends know it as Fat Tuesday, the day before you get to eyeball people in suits and heels walking around downtown with black smudges on their foreheads. Of course, you're supposed to get rip-roarin' wasted on Fat Tuesday, if you're following Gulf Coast Cajun law, but the more sedate among us just eat pancakes until we're unconscious. 

Last year, IHOP served four million free pancakes on National Pancake Day 2010 and pancake lovers donated more than $2.1 million to children’s charities.

So y'all go get fattened up a little before you spend some contemplative time trying to stop clinging to attachments, and detach from a few bucks on behalf of charity while you're there.

And here she is, Miss America -- making pancakes!
 

A Childhood Dream Come True: Fancy French Toast for The Masses

In my never-ending pursuit of a buck, I stumbled on a groovy gig: I get to follow recipes that are the creation of a highfalutin buncha folks in the northeast, and they toss me a little love.

I visited the Baltimore Culinary School expecting to run across mostly food that I would no sooner cook here in the Trailer Park than I would wax my kitchen floor. There were a few complicated recipes, but most were surprisingly simple. Really makes me want to write that book when I see a culinary arts school touting stuff that even I could do...

Anyway, there's a reason beyond simplicity for the choice I made. French toast was the first dish I recall making as a pre-teen, when my love for cooking first took hold. Even back then, around the same time my mama was teaching me how to cut up a whole chicken to fry, I remember thinking that French toast is cheating. I gotta say, I love cheating.

First, there's the name. Obviously, anything with "French" in the title is superior. Then there's the fact that it's not actually toast. I mean, I never toasted mine before this time. I bet you don't either. Next, this basic bread dish comes out tasting good enough to serve at a breakfast where you're trying to further impress that someone who came home with you last night, but it only takes ingredients you already had, and it's easy.

Total cheat.

Now, of course, there's a little twist to this school's version. And baby, it's a twist that sends me to Hallelujah Land. This recipe calls for Gran Marnier.
Oh, yeah. (Just mentioning that ingredient to the ladies after church the other day brought an "amen!" and a request to join us for brunch.)

Speaking of cooking breakfast for someone, I just can't say enough about the positive impact of collaboration in the kitchen. In this case, I was inspired to not only re-create the Baltimore Culinary Arts College's French toast recipe, but to go all out with my bad trailer trash self and do it the way we do it here in The Park. Mr. Collaborator may not have had the Real Deal Gran Marnier on hand, but he was pretty handy in turning up with Gran Wannabe.

So here you have the product of my childhood plus clever Internet marketing plus Mr. Collaborator's square-on idea, that being a little French Toast Duel.

Contestant Number One -- the recipe for French toast as presented by Chef Michael Wagner on BIC website:

Yield: 8 slices 
1 cup Half and Half
3 large eggs
2 tbsp. honey, warm
¼ tsp. Kosher salt
8 slices of stale bread
Splash Gran Marnier 
 
1. In mixing bowl, whisk together the Half and Half, eggs, honey, Gran Marnier, and salt.

2. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

3. Dip bread into custard mixture and soak for about 30 seconds on each side, then allow excess custard to drip off on a wire rack for several minutes prior to cooking.

4. Over medium heat melt 1 Tbsp. of butter in a 10-inch non-stick skillet and cook soaked, drained slices until golden brown on each side.

5. Remove from heat and place on wire rack in the oven for 5 minutes.

6. Serve immediately with maple syrup, fresh fruit, and/or whipped cream.

Variation

Once French toast is brown on both sides use two pieces to make a Monte Cristo.

Between the slices of browned French toast layer several slices of ham and Gruyere (Swiss) cheese and a little fruit jam or jelly. Place in oven until cheese melts and slice into triangles dusted with powdered sugar.

 
(And the best thing about following a recipe that calls for timing a repetitive activity in terms of seconds is the propensity for meditation.)

Next, per Mr. Collaborator's insistence, I made my version:

Trailer Trash Fancy French Toast (halved recipe)

1/2 cup skim milk

1 large egg

1 tbsp. honey, unwarmed

1/8 tsp. Kosher salt

3 pieces stale whole wheat bread (the heels with the mold trimmed off)

almost 1/4 cup Gran Wannabe

I followed all the other steps, including the weird "allow excess custard to drip" thing (I even timed the soaks, 30 seconds each side) and even the post-frypan baking step -- which was no easy feat, since I can't use both my oven and rangetop at the same time (must be time to fill that propane tank...). Plus, as you likely have figured out by now, I have no such thing as a non-stick anything in my kitchen, so scratch that spec, too, and get ready to use about half a stick of margarine to fry up the bread.

Here's the finished result, with the Lite version of the only French-toast-side that ever graced my family-of-origin's table.

That's right. I made and ate two different batches of French toast with liquor in them. My faithful Servant Boy and his pal were treated to Chef Michael's recipe. I inhaled the Trailer Park version all by myself. Here're my thoughts on the differences:

Mine:
Aside from looking a tad puffier from the stint in the oven, and the very slight whiff of liquor when I opened my mouth to shovel the French toast in, this was a whole lot like what I usually make when I'm trying to impress someone at the breakfast table. So I say forget that whole heat-up-the-kitchen step with the oven and use heaping teaspoons of spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, and coriander instead of in addition to the alcohol. I'd also have to recommend holding the salt -- that quarter pound of margarine's got more than enough for this.

Chef Michael's:
I followed it to a T. Well, as close as I can without a non-stick skillet. I counted those soaking seconds reverently. I used real butter (but the kind with canola oil.) And I sprang for the real deal liquor. Warmed up the honey in the bottle sitting on the preheating oven. Made 8 slices.

The Chef's was better than mine. I can't say it any better than that.
Quotes from my two taste-testers:

"Nom!"
"Eat more!"
"It tastes like ice cream."

Well. There ya go.

(And btw, did you know that a splash of Gran Marnier in bottled OJ is virtually undetectable by flavor? Just a thought, as you're working on that impressive breakfast...)

The Totally Unfair Advantage: Alcohol

Okay, so this contest had some very specific aims:

•  to make use of my plentiful peach trees
•  to make something tasty I could use to repay my helpful neighbors
•  to do the above without using fire

And we have a surefire winner.

Kristin Michelle Ongeri apparently knows the Bodhisattva's darker side. In fact, I know she does. She's seen the TPKB in weekend parking lots during the wee hours. Enough said.

Now, what Kristin doesn't know is that long, long ago, there was a little girl who got ripped on rum. Ever since that first episode of tossing her spaghetti-o's, the scent of rum -- even from across the room -- makes the multitude of Swedish-heritage hairs stand up on the back of that gal's neck.

But tequila... that's a different story altogether.

When I blended up this little brunch beverage during a quick jaunt down to the Gulf coast, I knew. I just knew.

The Editor, who was kind enough to do the peach-cuttin this go'round, exclaimed, "Maybe you shoulda tossed the peels out before blending these..." Not because of the flavor, he clarified, but for appearance's sake.
Libras. Always so concerned with appearance.

Trailerpark-ism is all about making-do. The two most frequent buzzwords in my world: creative and resourceful. Ain't got those? You best be paying other folks to do a whole slew o' stuff for ya.

I explained to The Editor that this drink is no hoity toity daquiri. It's evident by the darker chunks of skin that this is a smoothie. One with tequila in it.

What the HELL could be better?

So as I finish up my this here good stuff smooooothy, i wanna send my kisses and hugs out to Kristin for submittin this tasty little o.m.g.easy drinky that my neighbors at the next happy hour -- every Wednesday at the Grocery & Grill down the road -- are gonna happily lap up.

OH, and Kristin, you get my grandma's jam/jellly googah, too! You lucky girl, you...

Kristin's Un-Titled-So-I'm-Callin-It-a-Peach-Buzz
Smoothie Recipe

"I don't have any fancy peach recipes. It is hotter than Hades and I think frozen beverages are the best cure. Cut up some peaches and stick them in the freezer. When they are good and frozen, throw them in a blender with some rum. You can even try a flavored rum to change it up a bit. No need for ice if your peaches are frozen. It will be extra peachy and you shouldn't need to sweeten it."

Pears & Avocados 2nd Place: Laura Connelly's Girl Scouts Gone Wild Stew

Once upon a time there was a neighbor of mine who also happened to attend the same church I did. Just that little coincidence in and of itself was a surprise, since I lived in a pretty sedate, conservative neighborhood but attended a really wacked out ultra-liberal church in a different part of town. Running into Laura Connelly on our hood's jogging path was always a bit of a relief, even if I rarely actually saw her as she waved and kept moving like a good jogger. It's always nice to see someone who thinks a lot like you when you feel otherwise surrounded.

When Laura submitted her Girl Scout Stew (late, I might remind her) to the first Trailer Park Karma Treasure Not Trash Contest, I thought she was kidding. In fact, I'm still not so sure she wasn't.

The basic recipe is pretty world famous, actually. If you made it out of that first branch of Girl Scouting (whatever it's called now -- Sunflowers? Raisins?), you had a chance to make and eat this stuff at some time in your scouting career. Me, growing up with Uber Scoutwoman for a mother, I think we ate Scout Stew on a quarterly basis for sentimental sake. It was a little like the salutes that we had to do (and still do) when we drive by the teeny town where my daddy was born.

So what Laura did was write up her version of Scout Stew with the addition of the only two ingredients required by the Trailer Park Karma Contest Commission: bosc pears and avocados.

You probably aren't believing any of this, but it's true.

Not only did I, the Editor, and Karrie Sue dig this stuff, but so did the Preteen Eater in the house. The recipe makes a pretty good-sized batch, and we finished it. Didn't have to toss out a bit or give it to the dogs. And this is made from stuff that is *always* in my pantry.

The addition of those two ingredients wound up lending a thicker, nutty, slightly sweeter taste to what is typically a damned boring soup.
I'm thinking about bringing it to the next potluck I attend, wherever that'll be.
Here's Laura Connelly's 2nd-place winner:

Laura Connelly's Girl Scouts Gone Wild Stew

OK, going with the whole trailer park theme... and not something healthy... something that actually has a lot of preservatives so that when you expire, you don't look like you passed your expiration date.
Start with your basic Scout Stew (no scouts were harmed in the making of this stew):

two cans of alphabet soup -- cans with dents are ok cuz they're cheaper
one can of tomato soup (also dented)(al dented?)
one onion of any kind -- doesn't matter how old it is
two cans of kernel corn (dented)
two cans of green beans (dented)
ground beef -- the higher the fat content, the lower the price
one dented can of red beans that you didn't use with Sunday's dirty rice 1/2 tsp oregano (as if)
cayenne pepper to taste (or chaloula sauce or taco bell taco sauce works here too -- go check your floorboards for the packets that you didn't step on)
one bosc pear (so you can tell your caseworker that your kid gets fresh fruit)
one avocado

Dice up the avocado and pear and add to the stew. Makes it chewier and you can water it down with the second and third leftover rounds. Save the avocado seeds so you can grow your own and not have to go into the prissy part of the store where people really look at the food they buy and eat. 

[Editor's note: Still tracking down those incredible shots I took of the 1st contest entries, but in lieu of a Scout Stew view (it resembles gumbo in color & texture),
here's The Editor with an enthusiastic "more, please!" for Laura.]

What Folks Will Do With Pears & Avocados

It's been a long time comin' but finally... we have a winner for our first Cooking For Trailer Park Treasures-Not-Trash contest! We even had such a tough time deciding from among the recipes submitted, the Editor and I chose a 2nd place winner, too!

The contest details, including the nifty Trailer Treasure that our winners get to pick from, were first posted way back in April. Of this year. We were thrilled to have six entries that made good use of the required ingredients: bosc pears and avocados. We eagerly anticipated getting all the recipes cooked up and expertly taste-tested in a reasonable amount of time, but then life happened and one of us moved out to The Sticks.

So after MUCH ado and many months more than we figured on, all entries have been sampled, and our choices were tough.

The 2nd place prize goes to Laura Connelly's faBU Scout Stew!

After tiptoeing around the pot in which we'd tossed all of Laura's ingredients, the Editor, Karrie Sue, and I all dug in to this ingenuous update on a favorite of the Bodhisattva's from way back when her own mom used to regale us kids with thrilling tales of Girl Scouting.

Since Laura's a bona fide RN, we were relatively sure of our safety in sampling this scarily simple concoction, even if we weren't entirely convinced at first read of her culinary tastes.

I'll be talking more about Laura's version of Girl Scouts Gone Wild Stew next week, but in the meantime you can actually try it yourself from the recipe on the Discussion Board. Be prepared to have your little green socks knocked off.

And the WINNER IS...

Jerrie Lynne's Avocado Pear Salsa!!!

Girrrl.

First, I had to set aside my knowledge that Ms. Jerrie Lynne is an ACTUAL chef. But you know me. I didn't hold that factoid against her. Then I had to overlook that not only is JL freakishly gorgeous (I mean that in the best way, Jerrie), but she was the first one to jump on this contest. But I'm big like that. This here contest was a genuinely objective, aggravatingly persistently earnest competition. Hence the months and months til now...

Truly, every single recipe had its pros and cons. Such is life. The benefit of all that time passing from contest announcement to Award Day was that the Editor and I put plenty of mental processing hours into our final choice.

So here it is, and why?
Not only was every single ingredient sitting right there in my trailer -- no special trips anywhere for anything -- but it was, as the Editor noted in his signature matter-o-fact style, "the easiest thing you made."

And it tastes good enough to serve as an appetizer, the main course, dessert, AND bring to the church potluck. This is *some* hellacious salsa from one hellacious mamacita.

Jerrie Lynne's Avocado Pear Salsa

1 ripe avocado, peeled and cut into smallish cubes
2 ripe bosc pears, peeled and cut into small cubes
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
2 tbsp chopped red onion
1 med. fresh jalapeno, finely chopped
1/2 small can diced green chiles (Hatch is great)
1 tbsp citrus juice (lime, lemon, orange, etc)
salt and pepper to taste

Combine all in a pretty bowl and serve with freshly fried flour tortilla chips.

Fried Flour Tortilla Chips

flour tortillas
canola oil, 375*

Cut tortillas into wedges (or any other shape!) and fry in hot oil until golden. Drain on paper towels. Salt when warm, or for a dessert, shake them in a bag with cinnamon sugar.

And you would've loved the photo I shot of the salsa and chips, but it got lost in the move. So here's a pic of Karrie Sue giving you a big thumbs up for winning!

Alrighty, girls.
Y'all get in touch to pick your prizes! Jerrie Lynne gets to go first, then Laura.

Over the next few weeks, I'll be writing up my experiences with each of the six entries for this contest.
Seriously. No, really. Before Christmas, I promise.