Trailer Park Karma

Friday Night Food Porn

What a coincidence. Tonight, one of the best untouched photos I've ever taken, and it's dirty. And earlier today, I got a press release touting a book about "yet another dimension to food to be explored." Written by Italian-born Chef Tiberio Simone (a new find for me, and adorable!) and shot by freelance photographer Matt Freedman, the "provocative new coffee table book" is called La Figa: Visions of Food and Form (www.LaFigaProject.com). It features full-color, artistically rendered portraits of the naked human body decorated with fresh ingredients. And you can bet your boots that I'm asking for a review copy.

Incorporate food in your love life, Chef Simone says, and you’ll discover the sublime. Probably doesn't hurt that Freedman, the photog, produced the first iPhone app about the Burning Man festival.

But who needs credentials like that when you can shoot from the hip like this?!

Recipe next week. Enjoy!

Want to meet Chef Tiberio Simone? Check out his incredible little talk on "Food, Touch and STDs":

 

 

Christmas Comes In Platinum Blond to The Buddhist Trailer Park

I'm not much of an entertainment hound. I only recently signed up with that online movie service (just when everyone else started bailing on 'em) to try and catch up with the hundreds of movies I've missed since I graduated from high school in 1979. So I'm a little "out of touch" and often the last to know about hip and otherwise groovy things on the Internet. (Crazy, right? I work online and spend more time there than even most preteens I know.)

So my find today could be no surprise to you, but I'm so excited, I feel like it's a holiday gift just for me!

Have y'all met Jolene Sugarbaker, The Trailer Park Queen?!

There's hardly any introducin' I need to do here. She is Definitely It. Let's just say that a couple of years ago when I first got the idea to do this blog, having not a clue of what was already out there in this very special market niche realm, SHE is what The Editor hoped and dreamed I would aspire to be. 

Alas, I am "just" me, with my own style, but pleased as punch to be so. And now that I've met Jolene, I've yet another guru to link arms with in the never-ending quest to -- in the words of Her Highness -- "undo years of damage to the Trailer Park Lifestyle!"

Jolene's got hundreds of videos on her own YouTube Channel (http://www.jolenestrailerpark.com/) and right now, she's publishing Trailer Park Christmas videos, "Celebrating the Birth of Baby Jesus! Cheaply!" with a different holiday recipe, craft, or gift idea every day.

All Hail The Queen!

Check out Jolene's Frosty Peanut Butter & Jelly Pie -- can't wait to try it!

 

Just Like My Swedish Grandma. Sorta.

[I may have gotten over my 25-year aversion to cooking in general, but that baking thing... I still turn up my nose. Both my grandmothers were into it and certainly around the holidays, but my mom didn't pick up the baking habit. So I guess it makes sense I didn't either. Doesn't explain Sister Martha, of course, who can scratch-bake circles around anyone... 

Anyway -- I was sent these recipes back in October. The thing I find appealing about the possibility that I may think about baking these cookies that are just like my Swedish grandma's is the one-batch-o-dough idea. Whenever I'd look at the table covered in cookies from her parents' homeland recipes, I was amazed at the sheer quantity. And she worked for a living, full-time. How the hell she made all those cookies is a mystery to me. 

So have at it. If you cook up all of these, you'll be livin' part of my childhood. And if you manage to make 'em all while working 40-hour weeks at the VA Hospital, I wanna hear about it. I may join you. Might not. But I'll be stirrin' up the glogg with a cheap bottle o' red, for sure.]

A Scandinavian Christmas Cookie Smorgasbord 

While the aroma of freshly baked cookies can be intoxicating, many of us don’t have time to spend hours in the kitchen baking up batches of cookies. Kristina Vanni has provided a method to create dozens of beautiful Scandinavian cookies using one simple dough!  This dough can even be made several days ahead of time and ready to form and bake when you are.  Kristina has provided six cookie variations you can easily create from this one dough. The simplicity and efficiency of these recipes epitomize the Scandinavian ingenuity and style. 

Dough: 
Makes six cookie variations (see below) 

1-1/2 cups (3 sticks) softened unsalted butter

3/4 cup white granulated sugar

1 egg plus 1 egg yolk (reserve white)

1 Tablespoon milk

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon salt

4-1/2 cups all-purpose flour 

Beat butter and sugar in large mixer bowl on medium speed until well combined.  Beat in egg, egg yolk, milk, vanilla, and salt until blended.  Add flour gradually to make the dough stiff.  Shape dough into a ball and then divide into 6 equal pieces.  Wrap each in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 1 hour.  (Dough can be made several days ahead, if desired. Let warm up on the countertop until pliable).

 Heat oven to 350 degrees.  All cookies variations are baked at this temperature.  Line cookie sheets with parchment paper- (this is important to do).  Follow directions for each cookie, using one reserved dough ball for each type.  All of these cookies freeze well.  Place in single layers separated by pieces of wax paper in cookie tins or other freezer containers.  

1)  Walnut Crescents:  To the first dough ball to make crescents, mix in 1/4 cup chopped walnuts.  Form into 18 small ropes (about 1-1/2" to 2") and curve to form a crescent shape. Place on cookie sheet and bake for 10 minutes.  Remove, cool slightly and then gently roll each warm cookie in powdered sugar.  Makes 1 ½ dozen. 

2)  Almond Cookies:  To second dough ball, mix in 1/3 cup coconut.  Form into 18 small balls and place on cookie sheet.  Press one whole blanched almond into cookie.  Bake for 10 minutes.  Makes 1 ½ dozen. 

3)  Blueberry Thumbprints:  For third dough ball, form dough into 12 round balls. Dip the tops of each ball into coarse pearl sugar and place on cookie sheet.  Press finger or thumb into center of cookie to make a hole. Fill hole with blueberry jam.  Bake for 10 minutes.  Makes 1 dozen. 

4)  Lingonberry Logs:  For fourth dough ball, divide dough in half and make each piece into a 7-inch log.  Place logs on baking sheet.  Make a long indentation down the center of each log, but leaving an edge on the ends.  Fill the indentation with lingonberry or raspberry jam.  Bake for 15 minutes.  Remove from oven and let logs sit on baking sheet for 1-2 minutes, then carefully slide onto a work surface; let logs cool for exactly 10 minutes.  Meanwhile, stir together 1/4 cup powdered sugar, 3/4 teaspoon water, and 1/2 teaspoon almond extract.  Drizzle each log with this mixture.  Immediately slice cookies diagonally to make 9 slices each log.  Makes 1 ½  dozen. 

5)  Cardamom Scrolls:  For the fifth dough ball, shape dough into 12 ropes, each about 5" long.  Brush each rope all over with the reserved egg white from making the dough, beaten until slightly foamy.  In a small dish, stir together 2 Tablespoons granulated sugar, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, and 1/4 teaspoon cardamom; transfer to a small plate. Roll the egg white-coated ropes in the sugar mixture to coat thoroughly.  Place on cookie sheet and shape each rope into an "S" shape, then coil each end of the "S" in opposite direction so each end looks sort of like a cinnamon roll (see photo of cookie).   Bake for 10 minutes.  Makes 1 dozen. 

6)  Orange-Anise Cookies:  For the sixth and last dough ball, place the dough on the lined cookie sheet.  Roll dough into a rectangle, 12-inches by 3-inches.  Score the dough with a knife lengthwise down the middle, then each side into 12 small rectangles, making 24 pieces.  Bake for 12-15 minutes or until lightly golden.  Remove and let sit for a few minutes and then use a sharp knife to cut pieces following the scored areas and separating them to cool.  Meanwhile, in a small skillet, heat 1/3 cup orange marmalade with 1 teaspoon butter over medium heat until just starting to bubble.  Remove from heat and stir in 1/8 teaspoon anise extract; let cool.  Spoon a small amount of mixture onto each cookie and let set.  Makes 1 dozen.  

To accompany these delicious cookies, treat yourself and your guests to a cup of Glogg. Kristina has provided two versions:  one that can be served to children without alcohol, and one just for adults made with red wine.  Warming glogg on the stove will fill your home with the aroma of the holidays.  It is also a budget friendly party beverage because it is a way to dress up an inexpensive bottle of wine! 

Orange-Cinnamon Glogg
Serves 6-8 

2 cups orange juice

1/4 cup packed light brown sugar

1 teaspoon ground cardamom

1 (3-inch) cinnamon stick

2 cups white grape juice 

Place orange juice, brown sugar, ground cardamom, and cinnamon stick in a saucepan over medium-low heat.  Slowly bring to a boil, stirring occasionally.  Add the grape juice and heat just until hot; do not boil.  Remove cinnamon stick and ladle into cups.  

This warm and spicy glogg is for those who prefer a non-alcoholic alternative, or it is wonderful for a festive drink for kids.  Drink can be served with a cinnamon stick in each glass, if desired. 

Spiced Scandinavian Cranberry Glogg
Makes 6 servings 

1-1/2 cups Pomegranate-Cranberry juice, or all cranberry juice

1/2 cup granulated sugar

5 whole cloves

1 (3-inch) cinnamon stick

4 Chai tea bags

1 (28 ounce) bottle dry red wine 

At least several hours or several days in advance, combine juice, sugar, cloves, and cinnamon stick in a saucepan.  Bring to a boil and remove from heat.  Add tea bags to pan, cover, and let sit until cool.  Remove tea bags and pour mixture into a covered container until ready to use.  When ready to serve glogg, pour the red wine into a saucepan and strain juice mixture into wine.  Heat until just hot; do not boil.  Serve hot.  

This glogg recipe is convenient for holiday enjoyment since the juice base can be made days in advance, and the chai tea bags add a wonderful spicy essence without having to use many kinds of spices. 

Recipes copyright Kristina Vanni www.kristinavanni.com

Speaking of It's Just Me: Picture Me in Hip Attire

It's damned tough getting older, for too many reasons to list. But for a lot of us, the Looks Going South Department is one touchy subject. 

Take the other night, for instance. The Editor and I set out on a spontaneous All Saints’ Day evening field trip. He wanted to visit a local cemetery. I wanted to procure a meds refill for my kid. I was feeling impulsive -- my newly decaffeinated mind had just imbibed one whole cup of Balinese java. All bets were off for this adventure.

The first pharmacy was out of the meds, so we headed to the all-nighter, which is in a neighborhood we don't venture into much. Crazy busy, that drug store! Later on, we decided that they're just plain crazy. Long story short, The Editor and I read English differently than the head pharmacist. It took a conversation between him, his staff, and staff at another branch of their own company to get the prescription filled. We waited at the cemetery. All in all, an exciting night.

Thing is, I'm pretty convinced that the trouble the pharmacy counter staff gave us was due, at least partly, to my attire. I was dressed in... oh... an outfit that screamed Used To Be Middle Class Now Bag Lady. Remember, I said this was a spontaneous foray. The Editor commented that I didn't really have a thing for matching clothing. I pointed out that my day-glo orange anklets perfectly matched part of the artwork on my shirt. At any rate, clothing that flies in the barrio of Swamp City is far different than what you can get away with in The Bubble, and I'm mighty glad of that. 

I just can't hack the Middle-Aged Mom wear. I've always been a comfort hog, and I don't spend much time and effort toward lookin' better. Turns out at my age that that only works if you're trying to impress the folks livin' under the bridge.
 
I have friends who are young enough to be my kids. Bless their hearts, when I start whining about how bad I look, they come forward with the sweetest comments. They're excellent liars. Yeah, yeah, I'm still okay with my appearance, but believe me, it's different than it was -- and I know it's different than it will be. So I try not to get too hung up on it, but c'mon -- in this world? We're all inundated with images to emulate. I may be Buddhist, but even more than that, I'm human. Who the heck doesn't want to be smashingly gorgeous?

So anyway, in between slogging through e-mails telling me how to be fantastic and offering to let me try out and tell you about these awesome products that will make me feel like a zillion bucks and look that way, too -- I stumbled on to Buddhaful. It's a newish grassroots company from America's own Middle Earth (Seattle) that's swirling around the globe creating art, music, and fashion. 
I glanced through their stuff thinking the thoughts that I usually think lately when it comes to clothes: way cool, but who the heck wants to see a 50-year-old in groovy gear? I'm thinking my preteen would puke (but then, there's hardly a thing I can do lately that doesn't make The Boy cry out "MOM!!" with a look of utter disgust...). I mean, I was rather hippie-ish in my day, yes. A little young to be a bona fide hippie, never mind being raised in The Republic instead of Haight-Ashbury, but I did a pretty good rendition.

On a lark, I asked Buddhaful if they'd be so kind... figurin' I'd never hear back. Just as well. I'm fine, trudgin' through Swamp City in my decades-old thrift store wear. Nothing to see here...
Look what those nice people at Buddhaful sent me:

It's très groovy, and of course, I totally dig the meaning of the design. Even better -- the material it's made from! Feels like a soft embrace and makes even the crankiest, decaffeinated middle-aged mama feel... sexy. Now the only question is where to wear it. I'm saving it for someplace special.

Moral of the story: Remember when you're trying to pigeonhole a bag lady, she might just have an Isis hidden inside that you're not seein'. In other words, looks not only can be but are deceiving.

Speaking of It's Just Me: Understanding the Bully

[Funny coincidence -- at the same time I was writing It's Recipes! It's Buddhist Guideposts! It's Stories! No! It's... Just Me, I got an email from The Leadership Lady (not to be confused with the church lady), telling me about her new book which is, interestingly, about bullies. Stuff about bullies is everywhere now, isn't it? It's a hot topic (which only leads me to my firm stance about marketing being God, but I digress...) But I was downright taken by how Charisse Rudolph addresses the whole "bully" thing, so I invited her to write a guest post here at the Trailer Park. Contrary to what some might think, I'm not trying to be cryptic. I'm just lazy about categorizing myself. Read Charisse's take and let me know if any stories come to you from the connections.]

Understanding the Bully

By Charisse J. Rudolph

I believe that there is no good and bad; life just is. We all came to earth to play roles for each other – even with bullying. The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander are three roles, with each learning to deal with the consequences of their actions. 

In today’s world, however – especially with the advent of cyberspace – too many things interfere with an individual’s ability to experience consequences. 

Consider the bully. 

The word “bully” is a label that sugarcoats a person being aggressive or abusive to another. A bully is a person who doesn’t have the skills to communicate, and he or she has something going on inside them that needs to be expressed. It may be anger or frustration or a feeling of being threatened and may have nothing to do with the situation at hand. But no matter what the cause, becoming a bully is a non-productive response that only makes a difficulty escalate. A vicious circle.

Most of what we read and talk about is being bullied. What do parents do when their child is the bully? 

A common reaction is, “I don’t know why he’s like that. We didn’t raise him that way.” 

Did you?

As a parent, relative or caregiver, it’s up to you to find out what else is going on in this child’s life that she is uncomfortable with. She wasn’t born a bully; she has become this way in reaction to something. The child needs to feel love and support, and to feel that it’s safe to talk about whatever she is holding inside. If you ask your child why he’s acting a certain way and then simply get angry and pass judgment, you will not get the information you need to improve his behavior. 

The only reason to ask “why?” is so you can support your child in becoming the person he or she wants to be. 

Another thing you can do – and this is even harder – is take an objective look at your own style. What do you do when things go wrong in your life? 

I want to share something I learned from Barbara DeAngelis a long time ago. Think of your family as water tanks all hooked together with a water pipe running from one to the other, each tank holding an adequate amount of water. When one of you has a challenge you’re not dealing with directly, the water in your tank begins to boil. Since the pressure that builds up in the tank has nowhere else to go, it bubbles into the next tank until it can’t hold any more; when that tank is full, the pressure flows into the next tank in line, and so on down the line until the pressure is released. Meanwhile, everyone is feeling the stress and strain, but doesn’t exactly know why or what to do. 

What happens? Someone decides to go for a run, or overeat, or do yoga, or kick the dog, or yell at the person next to them, or break a plate, or take a bubble bath … or bully someone. 

So what do you do when you can’t pay a bill, your boss cuts your hours or you have a fight with your spouse? Where might that pressure be going?

And remember, your child’s challenges – with fitting in at school, keeping up with homework, keeping friends, etc. – are just as challenging and important to him or her as your own are to you. So consider: Is he handling his challenges in the same way you are?

Charisse Rudolph is a nationally known speaker on how to learn strategies to succeed and be happy. Her new book is Words Hit Hard as a Fist, With 18 Tips on How to STOP being Bullied. Meet Charisse at www.theleadershiplady.com 

Is Your Homemade Sauce Worth $1 Million?

[Okay, excuse the marketing tone of this piece by the makers of Dave's Gourmet -- but I couldn't help but want to turn y'all on to this chance. If they like your sauce, salsa, or dip, they'll make it, put your name on it, give you a $2k advance and pay you royalties, up to $1 million. What could you possibly lose?? Think I should submit my White Girl Hot Pico De Gallo?]

Have you ever tasted a pasta sauce from the supermarket and thought, “I can do better then that” or do you make a fantastic sauce, salsa, dip, etc.?  That is what Dave Hirschkop of Dave’s Gourmet thought, which is part of what motivated him to start his company that manufactures and markets award-winning sauces to millions of Americans every year.

The thing is, he’s pretty sure he’s not the only one in America who has a great sauce. That’s why Dave is putting his money where your kitchen is by creating a national contest to determine where America’s next great sauce, salsa or dip will come from.

“I know that somewhere someone is home making their own sauce because they know it’s better than anything they can get at the supermarket,” said Dave, whose sauces have won best in the industry awards two years running. “Well, I want that sauce. I want to manufacture it and bring it to people around the world. The only problem I’ve had in that equation was how to find it.”

Enter Dave’s brainchild: the Dave’s Gourmet Recipe Challenge, which carries a grand prize of up to $1,000,000 in sales royalties.

Here’s how it works:

Send Dave your recipe at www.davesgourmet.com by December 31, 2011.

Entrants have to warrant that they own that recipe and that they did not swipe it from their sister-in-law when she wasn’t looking.

From January 1-4, 2012, Dave’s team will test the recipes and choose a bank of semifinalists.
Sauces will be judged in five categories – taste, appearance, creativity, consumer appeal and the recipe’s ability to be mass-produced. In other words, if Dave has to hand-cut bay leaves from trees found only in the southernmost tip of Italy in order to make your sauce, it might be too difficult for him to mass-produce.

Those semifinalist sauces will be taste-tested by a panel from Dave’s Gourmet and finalist sauces will be chosen and their owners notified between January 12-14. On January 15 to 17, hundreds of food professionals attending the Fancy Foods Show in San Francisco will taste the finalists’ entries and will vote for their favorite.

On January 18, the winner or winners will be announced and notified.Within two weeks of being notified, winners must sign some paperwork and collect their advance of $2000.

The sauce will be produced for Dave’s Gourmet’s retailers and might have the winner’s name right on the label. The winner will receive royalties for 6 years, up to $1 million.

Dave said, “Now, I wasn’t anyone special when I started my restaurant and then moved into manufacturing sauces. I’m just like everyone else and that’s why I know that somewhere out there, someone just like me is standing in their kitchen stirring a sauce that could very well be the best one in America. So, I’m going to find out where it is.”

About Dave Hirschkop 
Dave Hirschkop is married with three children, and graduated from Boston University back in the 80s. Shortly thereafter, he opened a mom and pop restaurant called Burrito Madness. It was there he first started experimenting with hot sauces, later moving into pasta sauces. He started Dave’s Gourmet 18 years ago, and now has products in major retailers like Safeway, Williams-Sonoma, Whole Foods and Costco.

Just One Thing

My valiant attempt to stay sane during this crunch time has meant calling on every teeny particle of discipline in me. I'm also learning how to shortcut my way through life a little, usually without omitting the really important stuff. Every bit of whittling my mind can manage earns this verbose girl bonus points.

So there's Just One Thing.

First, here's the thing I do (I'm grateful that I’ve already worked this into my daily to-do psyche) each time my heart starts to race (I'm grateful the muscle still beats) when the things-to-do list (I'm grateful to have so much paying work) appears insurmountable. (holy cow!) 

I think and then feel gratitude. 
Every time. First thing.
I started the whole Gratitude Thing eons ago when I was a kid. Long before Oprah was Oprah. Well, okay, she was born, but I think she was a reporter then or something. Since I was determined to make the world a better place as a teenager, even if I had to do it all by myself, damn it, it dawned on me that a good starting place would be to recognize what was already good. So I started uttering thoughts of gratitude to myself, muttering inside my head or out, around the time that Swamp City was filling up with carloads of families from the Rust Belt camping under freeway overpasses and "Greed is good" was a popular motto.

The juxtaposition made gratitude easy.

Flash forward to now, when my life is rich beyond belief with family, friends, food, and fun. Like everyone else, I've learned firsthand that none of those things can touch my inner state of being -- unless I invite them in to do so, consciously.

So there's Just One Thing.

When things are a little quieter on the work end of things, I respond to the never-ending deluge of product sample requests. Lo and behold, two books at once came my way just before my mountainous work pile. One is called "Shortcuts to Inner Peace." (who wouldn't love that title?) It's on my list to be reviewed soon. The other is called "Just One Thing" and you really gotta love its subtitle: "Developing a buddha brain one simple practice at a time". The author, Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a neuropsychologist who's already written another popular book about Buddha's Brain.

Hanson's being a neuropsychologist is what got me interested. Did I ever tell you I wanted to be a brain researcher? While dutifully soothing my own guilt by being a social worker for years (I'm grateful to have somewhat tamed the beast that was a self-righteous, outrageously moralistic teen), I found the connections between "mind" and body fascinating. For a very long time, my mantra was that if I could do anything, be anything, and had all the time and money to make the education possible, I'd be a neuroscientist. (So here I am, cookin Survival Food...)

Now, I'm grateful just to have time to read their books. Sometimes.

Hanson's proposition has to do with neuroplasticity (you know what that is, right?) and promises that each time you do one of his book's 52 simple practices, you strengthen your brain's circuitry. Just like muscle building in a gym.

In spite of my friend Darbi's pronouncement that Just One Thing is cheesy, I like it. And I may have the discipline of a nun (sometimes, for which I am grateful), but I've never been a fan of rigidity, especially in scheduling. When my body says "whoa!" I like to heed it, sometimes no matter the social consequences. And when my calendar is sliced and diced and multicolored for weeks or months on end, no way am I going to add a rigorous exercise plan, whether it's for building biceps or bringin' peace to my brain. 

But Just One Thing, I can do.

Hanson first makes me happy with his brief, understandable explanations of why each practice works. I skim over most of it because he's preachin' to the choir here, but even so, he spends maybe 200 words on the Why before heading straight for the How. His language is simple. He's not overly impressed with himself. And the practices really are basic. Actually, you'll likely think (like Darbi) that they're pretty cheeseball. But the thing is they work. 

Example:

Chapter 5: Slow Down

The author describes how nowadays when someone asks "How are ya?" in casual talk, the response is more often "Busy!" than "Fine." He explains the potential destruction of our sympathetic nervous system and then makes his recommendations, like "Find what's good about this moment, as it is..." with examples of everyday situations where you might practice. Here's a sample of Hanson's writing on a related topic, titled "Step Into the Cloud" -- see if it doesn't make total sense to you and also, maybe, help your shoulders relax a smidge farther from your ears.

Common sense often comes across as cheesy. Much is stuff that we "know" so we dismiss it. But knowing and practicing are quite different.

Besides, each chapter in the book is, like, four pages. Works for me.

Most interesting is how the book's title itself has become a mantra that plays in my head without my consciously conjuring it. I wake up lately with a racing mind, a to-do list that clamors for immediate attention when in wafts "just one thing" (the words, not the book)... and the cacophony dissipates.

Once that happens, my brain has room for creative flow. Sometimes. This morning was one. Turning on the Laptop That Is My World, rummaging through my head for a starting place, wondering which boss to make happy first, I saw the headline "What To Do When Your 'To Do' List Looks Like A Mountain". And my review of "Just One Thing" was sparked.

Must be that time of year. The time when most of us have far more than just one thing to do. But in the end we all do it all just one thing at a time.

 

Kickin' Back: 9 Supermarket Strategies Designed to Make You Spend More

[Editor's Note: In our never-ending endeavor to keep food on the table and a roof overhead, all the while keeping you amused, we're gonna let a few others yammer on here at The Park now and then. You get something to read, they get a little light shined on 'em, and we get to recline in the trailer just a few minutes more (in between those piled up payin' gigs.) And we'll only feature stuff we think is good for you.]


Most of the advice in the article below is pretty basic. I'm almost embarassed to put it up here, figurin' most of y'all to be way savvy at saving money by now. But please don't take offense -- I never cease being amazed on occasion at what some of my friends still don't know about grocery shopping.

9 Supermarket Strategies Designed to
Make You Spend More

by Andrea Woroch,
a nationally recognized consumer and money-saving expert for Kinoli Inc. 

Supermarkets lure us in with coupons and sales, but once we're inside...POW!...they hit us with the old one-two for a checkout aisle KO. Ultimately, it pays to keep your mental dukes up when you're in the ring, but first you have to know the rules. Here are nine tricks supermarkets like to spring on consumers to encourage overspending, along with ways you can overcome them.

1. Something smells really good. The bombardment starts as soon as the front door swings open. Those mouth-watering smells emanate from the nearby bakery or deli, enticing you to buy the more expensive prepared foods. A grocer in New York City even pipes artificial smells into it's facility to induce shoppers to buy more.The rule, as you've often heard, is to never shop on an empty stomach.

2. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Ever notice how the things you need most frequently are the furthest away from the door? That's intentional; supermarkets guide you through aisles of the most attractive foods, hoping you'll give in to impulse buys.If you only need one item, it's actually cheaper in the long run to shop at a small market where you'll be less tempted to buy unneeded items.

3. End caps aren't your friend. End caps are the shelving units at the end of each aisle, where supermarkets place "sale" items that aren't always that cheap. They're counting on our preference to avoid heading down an aisle, so we'll just grab an end-cap item that seems reasonably priced.Don't give in; wait until you can comparison shop midst the appropriate aisle. Better yet, find grocery coupons on your smartphone from sites like CouponSherpa.com, and see if the product on your list is available at a discount.

4. Bend and stretch your way to better prices. Manufacturers pay big bucks for prime real estate, usually at adult eye level or, in the case of products marketed specifically to children, on the lower shelves. These corporations shell out extra cash because they know we're more likely to buy something we can see easily. Before you grab the first item you see, take a moment to scan the entire shelf and make sure you're truly getting a good deal.

5. Losing with loss leaders.There's a reason supermarkets advertise such cheap prices on milk, bread and other basics. These under-priced items are known as loss leaders because the supermarket is willing to take a loss to bait you into the store, where they'll make up the difference with more purchases.There's no reason you shouldn't take advantage of loss leaders; just don't let it rule which store you shop and what you buy.

6. BOGO can be a no-go. Deals that offer "seven for $5.50" are designed to confuse shoppers who aren't quick with the mental calculator. The same trick applies to the now popular 10 for $10 game making the supermarket rounds. Bulk buying can be cost effective, but there are a number of variables to consider. You can fool grocery stores at their own game by checking the unit price for competing products and selecting the one that truly offers the best deal.

7. Expensive eye candy. Product packaging is usually mind-bogglingly bright, featuring plenty of yellows and reds because these colors attract our eyes. Between this visual whirl and the bright store lights, grocery shopping can lead to migraines. Buying generic brands is one of many ways to combat escalating food prices. Before grabbing the first item that attracts your eyes, look for less-gaudy house brands and compare unit prices.

8. Super sized can equal undervalue. Bigger isn't always better, particularly when a manufacturer increases package size while hitting the contents with a shrink ray. This practice has become particularly popular in recent years since you're not really expected to check whether a box or can is full.Give it a shake or visually compare product contents.

9. The checkout stand is a supermarket's last chance.The checkout aisle is akin to its own mini mart, featuring all kinds of impulse buys. Supermarkets know we're a captive audience, so they squeeze in everything and anything that might grab your attention and add to the final bill. Distract yourself by reviewing your grocery list, a tangible reminder that everything you need is already in your cart.

 

When It Rains, The Other Shoe Falls

When people ask about my job, and I foolishly reveal that "I'm a writer," I've learned to respond to follow-up questions with "It's not romantic."

That doesn't describe the half of it.

Being a freelance writer for a living is (for most of us) choosing to make "feast or famine" a regular, ongoing part of your existence. When there's work, you better take it, even if you think your plate's already full, because you can't predict when you’ll get your next job. And when there's not enough work... well, there's this little town called London in west central Texas you can move to...

If you've been following along, you know that I left my rocky savannah idyll and came back to Swamp City to catch a gravy train. The things we'll do to feed and clothe ourselves and our dependents, huh? And now, a week shy of my second month in the city, I'm already back to treading water as fast as I can, doing what I gotta do. When hunger's a part of your history -- and you wanna keep it neatly tucked right back there -- you'll bite off as much as you can chew when the bone is dangled. And if you bite off more than that, be prepared to choke a little or spit it out.

If there's one thing I know for sure (and there ain't much, so take what I got), it's that the other shoe WILL drop. It's not a question of if but when. The trick is seeing those harsh possibilities clearly and with a sense of wonder and amusement, not resignation or foreboding.

It's a hell of a trick.

All I have to do is think about the super-sized task pile on my plate, due in the next eight weeks, and my blood pressure goes up. So what do I do? I heap on a little more. The pile's now topped by a couple of books about being more like Buddha. Really.

One's called "Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time" by Rick Hanson, and the other is "Shortcuts to Inner Peace: 70 Simple Paths to Everyday Serenity" by Ashley Davis Bush. Neither is out yet -- they're both being published after my task pile should be cleared. My plan: Use whatever these galleys got in 'em in hopes of keepin’ my craw clear enough to get down what I bit off. And be found sane when it's all said and done. So you might not see the reviews until later. Much later. Like, holiday shopping time, maybe.

It's a damned good thing I found this at the store last night:

 

 

Just A Typical Summer In Swamp City (But Smelling Much Better)

Where do you keep your bug repellant? Why, on the diningroom table, of course!
Seriously. So here's the story:

The incidence of mosquitos in Swamp City is nothing short of phenomenal. I don't use that term lightly. And it holds true especially here in El Barrio, where we like to compete with the relatively more uppercrust neighborhoods for the first confirmed case and then the most cases of West Nile virus. Multitudes of bloodsuckers, even in spite of the drought that brings us national news attention. 

In our little 80-something-year-old casa that's been hand-remodeled by previous tenants to the point of no return, one of our problems is gaps in the back door's frame. It's a nice, hearty door, to be sure, which is great for fending off the late-day heat, but it doesn't take much space for skeeters to find a way. And they do. In droves. Or herds. Or flocks. What DO you call a bunch of mosquitos who accost you in what seems like concerted effort?
 
Anyway, they like my dining room. Mosquitos are no dummies; they're not any more fans of this hellish heat than we are, so their first entry into my house, the kitchen which is inundated by sun most of the day, isn't near as delightful to buzz around in as the next room over. My dining room has lovely filtered ambient light and an awesome/weird spiral staircase that sort of sucks the heat right up into the second floor. But the pièce de résistance for a skeeter is my wooden table. It's where I most often sit to work at my laptop. And this time of year, I'm constantly in shorts. Bare legs and feet under the long oval of oak that, for these dainty but fierce insects, acts like the roof of an arena, a protective shield against the ceiling fan's breeze.

I am a hungry mosquito's dream.

I'm also not a big fan of spraying down with chemicals to ward off biting pests. I'll do it if I'm wandering around outdoors, but really, even the least smelly variety is just too noxious for me to want in my house, never mind on my skin. And trust me -- the amount of bug spray necessary here is quite a bit more than in other necks of other woods, so we're not talking about one quick spritz session. Reapply, baby! We sit around our patio with bottles on the table so folks can grab and spray at leisure. 

Besides the smell, there's also the fact that I have wimpy skin that really doesn't take to being doused by bug-repelling chemicals very well. In fact, there are whole areas of my body that simply go unsprayed lest I want to trade bug bites for chemical stings.
 
So one day while working at my mosquito arena/dining table and getting chewed to pieces, I'd resorted to using another of my review products -- Topricin Jr, a pain relief cream that I'll write about another time -- to dispel the itch of each bite. Worked like a charm, no lie, but imagine my excitement when, just then, I got an email from Fairy Tales Hair Care, the makers of natural lice prevention products, asking me to try their new stuff: Bug Bandit, a non-toxic, DEET and pesticide-free spray repellant.

My fingers couldn't fly over the keyboard fast enough. And when the package arrived, we started dousing ourselves immediately. Well, first, The Editor and The Boy had to make sure it was really safe and all-natural. (Do NOT do this at home.)

Tastiness aside, all of us were happy with the scent, even me. What's not to like about lemon eucalyptus, rosemary, lemongrass, and peppermint? And it's safe enough for people as young as three-years-old, so I was all about sopping my typically-hypersensitive face, neck, and chest with Bug Bandit.
 
So there we were, drenched in Bug Bandit, sitting at our patio table in the dark, the way the skeeters like us. But the flying vampires were offended. Big smiles! (On us, not the bugs.)
Next, to try Bug Bandit indoors in my biting arena: This time, I sprayed my legs and feet lightly instead of soaking in the stuff. And it worked again. So now I can save what's left of my Topricin Jr for sore muscles from jogging and dancing in my living room, instead of for bug bite recuperation.

So here's what we, damned near professional-level mosquito repellant users, think are the high-points about Bug Bandit:

• It not only doesn't smell gross, it smells lovely.
• It actually feels good on your skin.
• It doesn't taste bitter like DEET products (that's from The Editor.)
• It really does keep the bugs at bay.

I daresay this stuff is so helpful and not-gross, we plan to buy more. 
I wonder if they sell it in gallon jugs?

 

[Disclosure: Fairy Tales Hair Care provided me with the information, including product sample/s, for this post. I was not required to write a positive review. Any expressed opinion is completely my own. View my official Disclosure 
Policy.]