Trailer Park Karma

Pears & Avocados 2nd Place: Laura Connelly's Girl Scouts Gone Wild Stew

Once upon a time there was a neighbor of mine who also happened to attend the same church I did. Just that little coincidence in and of itself was a surprise, since I lived in a pretty sedate, conservative neighborhood but attended a really wacked out ultra-liberal church in a different part of town. Running into Laura Connelly on our hood's jogging path was always a bit of a relief, even if I rarely actually saw her as she waved and kept moving like a good jogger. It's always nice to see someone who thinks a lot like you when you feel otherwise surrounded.

When Laura submitted her Girl Scout Stew (late, I might remind her) to the first Trailer Park Karma Treasure Not Trash Contest, I thought she was kidding. In fact, I'm still not so sure she wasn't.

The basic recipe is pretty world famous, actually. If you made it out of that first branch of Girl Scouting (whatever it's called now -- Sunflowers? Raisins?), you had a chance to make and eat this stuff at some time in your scouting career. Me, growing up with Uber Scoutwoman for a mother, I think we ate Scout Stew on a quarterly basis for sentimental sake. It was a little like the salutes that we had to do (and still do) when we drive by the teeny town where my daddy was born.

So what Laura did was write up her version of Scout Stew with the addition of the only two ingredients required by the Trailer Park Karma Contest Commission: bosc pears and avocados.

You probably aren't believing any of this, but it's true.

Not only did I, the Editor, and Karrie Sue dig this stuff, but so did the Preteen Eater in the house. The recipe makes a pretty good-sized batch, and we finished it. Didn't have to toss out a bit or give it to the dogs. And this is made from stuff that is *always* in my pantry.

The addition of those two ingredients wound up lending a thicker, nutty, slightly sweeter taste to what is typically a damned boring soup.
I'm thinking about bringing it to the next potluck I attend, wherever that'll be.
Here's Laura Connelly's 2nd-place winner:

Laura Connelly's Girl Scouts Gone Wild Stew

OK, going with the whole trailer park theme... and not something healthy... something that actually has a lot of preservatives so that when you expire, you don't look like you passed your expiration date.
Start with your basic Scout Stew (no scouts were harmed in the making of this stew):

two cans of alphabet soup -- cans with dents are ok cuz they're cheaper
one can of tomato soup (also dented)(al dented?)
one onion of any kind -- doesn't matter how old it is
two cans of kernel corn (dented)
two cans of green beans (dented)
ground beef -- the higher the fat content, the lower the price
one dented can of red beans that you didn't use with Sunday's dirty rice 1/2 tsp oregano (as if)
cayenne pepper to taste (or chaloula sauce or taco bell taco sauce works here too -- go check your floorboards for the packets that you didn't step on)
one bosc pear (so you can tell your caseworker that your kid gets fresh fruit)
one avocado

Dice up the avocado and pear and add to the stew. Makes it chewier and you can water it down with the second and third leftover rounds. Save the avocado seeds so you can grow your own and not have to go into the prissy part of the store where people really look at the food they buy and eat. 

[Editor's note: Still tracking down those incredible shots I took of the 1st contest entries, but in lieu of a Scout Stew view (it resembles gumbo in color & texture),
here's The Editor with an enthusiastic "more, please!" for Laura.]

Hybrid Steak: When Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year's, and Mardi Gras Collide

There come those auspicious dates when worlds and time are locked on a collision course destined to upset the most insanely organized calendar.
Get over it.

Oh, sure you could try to make it to each and every related shindig, but really... why? So little faith that next year's Grand Holiday Event won't come again? Oh, right. Well, look, if you die before the next Big Day, I guarantee you won't be giving that calendar a second thought.

SO - just smush it all together. Hybridize it. All the cool geeks are doing it. Just ask the The Editing Biologist. Of course, he'll mostly just tell you about e coli and flies, not so much food, but you get the idea.

Man, was I ever glad that I was in a cooking mood when I realized that three biggies were all happening at the same time this year: Valentine's Day + Chinese New Year + Mardi Gras.

 {What, you don't have Mardi Gras in your trailer park? I am so sorry. Truly. For the uninitiated, mardi gras is a slice of rich cultural history to be enjoyed with wanton frivolity and gleeful gluttony just prior to engaging in the austerity of the Christian Lenten season. You ain't gotta be Cajun to dig Mardi Gras, especially if you bringin' yo cash to spread around the celebrant's streets.}

Even more auspiciousness abounds: this Naturally Occurring Multi-Cultural Holiday Explosion just so happens to have fallen on the heels of food stamp benefits dispensation to my lucky household. More clarity on that another time, but for now just know that I am pretty well stocked after a pretty long dry spell.

A Prime Tenet of Trailer Park style is making do with what you've got on hand. And as any good cook (or even bad ones) know, unless you've done some planning, it's damned near impossible to have everything you need on hand for some recipes. What were the chances that I had everything I needed -- without wandering out into the cold drizzle -- to meet my urge to create a Cajun/Chinese/Love-oriented dish that would also warm up my kitchen by way of the oven?

Turns out, chances were pretty damned good.

Red meat & oven cooking = Love
Hot spices & pepper sauce = Cajun 
Hoisin & soy sauce = Chinese

And so I present you with: Hybrid Steak.

{The photo at right is NOT Hybrid Steak,
but tofu with ginger, served at our local buddhist temple
to celebrate the New Year.}->

Hybrid Steak

1# tenderized sirloin tip steak

cajun seasoning rub

quarter thick-sliced yellow onion

1/2 c unsweetened chunky peanut butter

1/3 c hoisin sauce out the jar

1 tblsp soy sauce

1/2 c hot water

2 tsp hot sauce (like Tabasco)
........

Preheat your oven to 325.

Pour yourself a nice glass of red wine.

Set up your roommate's girlfriend's glockenspiel that you're planning to learn how to play before the next church service.

Take that Dollar Bin tenderized sirloin tip steak and rub it with about a tablespoon of cajun seasoning powder.

Now -- I wanted to make my own rub, but remember that Prime Tenet of Trailer Park style? I had the concoction by (Name Withheld Pending Signed Advertising Deal), but did not have a chief ingredient in Cajun food: cayenne pepper. Sigh.
Use what you got.
And not a tablespoon on each side. For a 1# steak, should be only one tablespoon needed to coat the whole thing, front and back.

Lay it flat in a shallow baking pan. Put onion slices on top.

Pour a second glass of red wine.

Make your sauce: Combine the other ingredients in order in a bowl until smooth and blended. It should be thick but pourable.

Tell the dogs to move out the way. Better yet, go feed them now so they'll stay out of your way. (Someone's been feeding them from the kitchen counter.)

Spoon the sauce on top of the steak. You could save some of it for dipping other meat for grilling or broiling (like chicken legs) in at a later date, or just go whole hog and dump it all on there, like I did.

Stick it in the oven, uncovered, and cook for half an hour, while you have another glass of wine.

Serve slices of Hybrid Steak (which is now coated with a thick gooey spicy sauce) over rice for authentic Chinese Cajun effect. And since you're also catering to St Cupid, g'head and throw some green beans on the side -- true love means never wanting your sweetheart to have a veggie-less meal.

And realize that after the wine's gone, you're probably not going to be mastering that glockenspiel tonight.