Some folks recently mentioned they can't make it through my long posts before nodding off. It's true, a jillion stories slip through my brain's crevices and into The Nothing because I wait for elusively long stretches of time to do the writing. So, I tried to work on this wordy problem by rendering a quick version of this year's Spring Break camping adventure -- before I even hit the shower.
But I couldn't do it.
Everything is a story to me. Whether or not it's worth telling isn't up to me.
So I'm at least breaking this 36-hour adventure into more than one post.
The Camping Trip Begins
High-five us! From lazy PJ's and coffee to fully packed and ready to roll in only an hour!
Before hitting the road, we hit the liquor store. Bought the cheapest bottle of wine they had, only $5, some real headache-conjuring grape juice. I'll be using it for cooking, but not at camp. I was distracting the owner while The Boy tossed our household garbage in their dumpster (the City dump was closed for lunch).
Next, the library, where I tried to upload my first video-editing attempt which failed in the end after a cumulative 25 hours over two days, either because the Internet out in The Sticks sucks or because I make too-long videos to go along with my too-wordy blogposts. Off to the Dollar Store for dog food and necessaries. Important things like the humongous switchblade my almost-12-year-old talked me into buying (with his money, but I had to hand it over because he's not 18 yet).
Then we hit the road for a state park we'd never ventured to -- we love trips like this!
I forgot a map.
Curvaceous highways, never-seen-by-us scenery, and chat so pleasant that we didn't even need what was left of the radio. We were rolling!
Two and a half hours later, things got a little testy. The Stop n Shop high-schoolers were clueless, trying to send us further south. "No, really, I'll just buy this map," I insisted.
We were an hour and a half lost. But now we were rolling again! All we had to do was find the relatively isolated Ranch Road we'd missed from the other direction. It would be smack dab in the middle of a town I'd actually heard of!
Only drove in circles in that little town for 15 minutes before I slammed pulled into a Lounge. Happy Hour was well under way. The Boy and Burb Dawg dutifully remained in the Buddhamobile while I went into the dark, smoky shack. Just inside, three men with drinks in hand expressed way too much Happy Hour Happiness to see me.
Quick business-like announcement from me to the crowd: "I'm lost."Oh, boy, now they were excited. "NO, I got a kid and a dog in the car. I need to find Highway 674."
"Oh, hell, I don't know," the bartendress said, throwing her hands in the air and walking away to her other customers.
"You see, this is where it is..." began one stumbling bumblehead with a shot glass in front of him.
And we were off to the races in the small-town lounge, with two drunk, old men (yes, older than me) rendering advice and arguing back and forth about directional variations. Finally, the younger man of the three noted my dismay and impatience (which my friends and family can tell you is pretty observable at moments like this) and offered up -- in a way that still respected his older, drunker friend -- a succinctly sensible summary. I nodded, thanked, and smiled at the younger guy. The old guys were having none of it. No, no, it wasn't that way, it was this way.
I left -- with the chattiest of the trio reaching his arms out and begging me to stay -- determined to follow the younger drunk's helpful and tidy advice. Sure enough, it was a simple right at the only light and keep going straight.
My son's recollection of this event is now permanently "Don't ever get directions from old, drunk people." I'm good with that.
We arrived not only before dark, but half an hour before the bats fly. We raised my tiny tent with panache. The Boy whittled a stick while we watched the critters whir out of their cave.
Twilight started to cover us,
and the moon, waxing toward full and with a huge ring around it, lit up our campsite. The night was off to a perfect start.
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